One of the most commonly asked questions we receive regarding our adoption is, "Why from China when there are so many children right here in the U.S. who need parents?" Well the answer is actually quite complex and we could give quite a spiel on that. However, God made it very clear to me why He chose to place our son in China. Because it is not easy. If we adopted domestically, he would likely look quite a bit like us, we would be inconspicuous as a family. He would already be acclimated to our culture - the sights, sounds, smells, tastes. As parents, we would feel, "we've got this." When we first started the process we were told many times that we would be embarking on a spiritual journey unlike anything we'd experienced. The why China is another step of that journey and that stretching. I am by no means a Biblical expert, but I was hard pressed to think of a person who had been asked by God to accomplish a task and that person thought, "Sure thing God. I've got that." Not one of them felt equipped with the skills and means necessary to do it. They had to grow in faith and trust God for direction every single step. Seldom was there a big picture for them to see. It is the same for us. We don't see the big picture yet, but we trust it is great. Why China? So that we will be a conspicuous family. We will be forced to answer uncomfortable questions about our family. We will have to guide Abigail through the challenges she is going to face not only as a big sister, but when racial issues are thrown at her. We have no idea how to raise a child from another land - especially one that is so vastly different than our own. We don't know how to comfort a child who will grieve for what they've lost. We certainly don't cook good Chinese food yet! But God does know all of those things.
Faith is not easy, but it is sufficient! I said to my brother-in-law recently, I would still give God all the glory for what He does, even if He gave it just a few weeks ahead of time. I would still trust Him and praise Him if He gave me a little bit of a cushion to know that things are done and ready. My brother-in-law, the younger one at that, simply said, "but that's too easy." When did he get so smart anyway? What kind of faith is it if it's easy? Back to those Biblical icons of greatness... who was given a nice cushion? None that I could think of. God is a procrastinator for a reason! Why else would He make Sarah and Abraham wait years and years for their son to arrive? Because they had much to learn. Our Mother's Day brunch was an abyssmal failure in my opinion. It was a tremendous amount of effort and stress and we had about 20 people show up. Not enough to break even. But then a few people from that congregation (of which we are not a part of in any way) generously made donations to us, and a few friends and family bought some of Steve's artwork. Lo and behold, we had a profit of $303. Not much especially for all the work that went into it for us and our family who kindly gave up their Mother's Day to help us. Suddenly, the next week we realized, Whoa we need our passports now! They're required for the paperwork that's almost due and must be paid in cash. The total? $300.
On the days when I sinfully struggle with worry and anxiety over the care of my son until he gets to me, or when I fear I cannot complete this complex paperwork, or when the vast expenses seem impossible, I am gently reminded by a quiet voice, "Faith is not easy, but it is sufficient, because I am sufficient.""My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9)